Sum 41 With me Lyrics:
I don't want this moment, to ever end
Where everything's nothing, without you
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you
Through it all, I've made my mistakes
I stumble and fall
But I mean these words
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know
As I bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go
Thoughts read are spoken, forever and now
Pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I did and how so, I won't let this go
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you
All the streets, where I walked alone
With nowhere to go
Have come to an end
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
I hold on to this moment you know
As I bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find
What you will find, what you will find
What you will find, what you will find
I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everything's nothing without you
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
I hold on to this moment you know
As I bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
I hold on to this moment you know
As I bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Lethargic build-up
phew. what a totally tiring weekend.haha. but it was fun alright!
friday..didn't go to school..afterwhich i went back to AJ to play the match against teachers. tried not to play to hard as there was a match the following day, but ended up further tightening my right thigh muscle. argh. went tution afterwhich , which....whoa....which someone was looking...real hotttttt.haha.then after that went with anson for supper and our weekly arcade shooting! survived alittle longer on virtual cop.lol.
saturday..woke up at like....6.20am to get ready for the soccer match ! damn f-ing tired, considering i talked to xinli over the phone till 2am the night before. with only 4 hours of sleep, daxino wanted to meet me earlier to discuss about the tactics and formation while having break1st. lol. captain and vice cap meeting la ar. played the match and...wah got thrashed 4-0. should have seriously won this match as they were considered a lousier team than the previous team we played which we drawed 3-3 with. right thigh muscles tightened even further more. not a good sign. was even subbed out during match. argh.went for bowling training with the ventures afterwhich .went home sleep , then vivo with family.
tommorow taking napfa test already. seriously dunno how to run with the condition of my leg. argh.
friday..didn't go to school..afterwhich i went back to AJ to play the match against teachers. tried not to play to hard as there was a match the following day, but ended up further tightening my right thigh muscle. argh. went tution afterwhich , which....whoa....which someone was looking...real hotttttt.haha.then after that went with anson for supper and our weekly arcade shooting! survived alittle longer on virtual cop.lol.
saturday..woke up at like....6.20am to get ready for the soccer match ! damn f-ing tired, considering i talked to xinli over the phone till 2am the night before. with only 4 hours of sleep, daxino wanted to meet me earlier to discuss about the tactics and formation while having break1st. lol. captain and vice cap meeting la ar. played the match and...wah got thrashed 4-0. should have seriously won this match as they were considered a lousier team than the previous team we played which we drawed 3-3 with. right thigh muscles tightened even further more. not a good sign. was even subbed out during match. argh.went for bowling training with the ventures afterwhich .went home sleep , then vivo with family.
tommorow taking napfa test already. seriously dunno how to run with the condition of my leg. argh.
Thunder is such a great sooooong . wheee.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Elightenment.
"Collide"
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
i just got enlighted.haha.
things can't be forced la.we'll see how it goes.i am pretty sure i still have a chance.i know her too well la. she probably thinks i dunno her , but puh-lease. i am like her mind reader or something.lol. i still can read her mind even after 2 months. sometimes i know what she's thinking but i just say some wrong stuff to further read more. lol. quite cunning of me la.haha.i hope well , if she reads this , and if i dun have a chance liao just tell me la. dun give me false hope or sumthing.
but for now , i am just gonna take a step back. let things happen slowly , and not rush anymore.we'll see how this goes. rushing is never good. the final product will suck big time. there might not even be a product.
samuel , i am on the same boat with you man. and i am just gonna employ the same techniques to steer my boat to success. phew. back to chasing the same girl , 3 years ago. just that this time round , i think it would be harder. =( but for some reasons , i have more confidence in myself. i am not gonna let some car driving swimming guy... sjab guy...or whatever la overtake my boat. maybe i will let them for now , cuz slow and steady , will win this race.
i emerged from this event , realising that even though in terms of scouts...and other girls...i use to have lots of confidence in everything i do.but this time round after emerging from the relationship , i realised i had quite alot of insecurities DURING the relationship. but now..i feel real good about myself again. i am successful , handsome ,powerful !
actually i am pretty confident i can get her back. u see , a level year...she would be busy mugging her hwa chong ass off. no time for other guys or merry making. unless...well..she finds a guy as her studying partner la.then i think that guy would post a fucking threat. hmm. but after all , when she was a innocent,helpless,easier-to-cheat secondary 3 girl , it took quite some time and great extent of effort for me to chase her. it definitely took more than just plain studying with her to actually capture her heart. what's more she's older now, gt higher standards liao...summore recently just emotionally scarred by this relationship...lol..and knowing her , it would take great pains and extent for someone to get her to actually trust him to be her boyfriend...i think guys, if you ever think of wanting her , think again la. Your gotta go through more than me !
haha.but maybe not la. cuz sometimes , it's not about effort , but it's about the feeeeeeeling.lol.
haha. i am such a whore to sound so confident and cocky of myself. but that's just me, and i really am filled to the brim with confidence when it comes to her.
and also,please. it will take more then acting as her cheuffuer, and by driving her around.i can own a car soon too =0 she just thinks ur cool cause of a car.lol. and mature. eat this, dude _|_
after reading this she must be thinking i am damn immature or something. lol.but i am totally not.
lol. i am really aggressive sia towards other guys.oh man.lol ok i shall stop.
she's right about alot of things...about needing more time for other things. i have always thought like that even during our relationship. but when we broke up , i really just...stagnate for a really long time..like 2 months? i just felt like being a loser , being a loner and just hang around. i ok le la but just at times will thinking about the whole issue. i musn't be affected about it anymore. this has gotta stop , and it will stop , right now.
i gotta put my priorities back on track. Studies would definitely come 1st .
i feel like i am in those love shows where this couple...they are really meant for each other..then suddenly something happened..then they break up...then lost contact for a year..but they still like each other till the 7 heavens of the earth...then after that 1 year later they bump into each other and feelings just come overflowing again. they go on a date..and poof! start kissing again and happy ending . the end.
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
i just got enlighted.haha.
things can't be forced la.we'll see how it goes.i am pretty sure i still have a chance.i know her too well la. she probably thinks i dunno her , but puh-lease. i am like her mind reader or something.lol. i still can read her mind even after 2 months. sometimes i know what she's thinking but i just say some wrong stuff to further read more. lol. quite cunning of me la.haha.i hope well , if she reads this , and if i dun have a chance liao just tell me la. dun give me false hope or sumthing.
but for now , i am just gonna take a step back. let things happen slowly , and not rush anymore.we'll see how this goes. rushing is never good. the final product will suck big time. there might not even be a product.
samuel , i am on the same boat with you man. and i am just gonna employ the same techniques to steer my boat to success. phew. back to chasing the same girl , 3 years ago. just that this time round , i think it would be harder. =( but for some reasons , i have more confidence in myself. i am not gonna let some car driving swimming guy... sjab guy...or whatever la overtake my boat. maybe i will let them for now , cuz slow and steady , will win this race.
i emerged from this event , realising that even though in terms of scouts...and other girls...i use to have lots of confidence in everything i do.but this time round after emerging from the relationship , i realised i had quite alot of insecurities DURING the relationship. but now..i feel real good about myself again. i am successful , handsome ,powerful !
actually i am pretty confident i can get her back. u see , a level year...she would be busy mugging her hwa chong ass off. no time for other guys or merry making. unless...well..she finds a guy as her studying partner la.then i think that guy would post a fucking threat. hmm. but after all , when she was a innocent,helpless,easier-to-cheat secondary 3 girl , it took quite some time and great extent of effort for me to chase her. it definitely took more than just plain studying with her to actually capture her heart. what's more she's older now, gt higher standards liao...summore recently just emotionally scarred by this relationship...lol..and knowing her , it would take great pains and extent for someone to get her to actually trust him to be her boyfriend...i think guys, if you ever think of wanting her , think again la. Your gotta go through more than me !
haha.but maybe not la. cuz sometimes , it's not about effort , but it's about the feeeeeeeling.lol.
haha. i am such a whore to sound so confident and cocky of myself. but that's just me, and i really am filled to the brim with confidence when it comes to her.
and also,please. it will take more then acting as her cheuffuer, and by driving her around.i can own a car soon too =0 she just thinks ur cool cause of a car.lol. and mature. eat this, dude _|_
after reading this she must be thinking i am damn immature or something. lol.but i am totally not.
lol. i am really aggressive sia towards other guys.oh man.lol ok i shall stop.
she's right about alot of things...about needing more time for other things. i have always thought like that even during our relationship. but when we broke up , i really just...stagnate for a really long time..like 2 months? i just felt like being a loser , being a loner and just hang around. i ok le la but just at times will thinking about the whole issue. i musn't be affected about it anymore. this has gotta stop , and it will stop , right now.
i gotta put my priorities back on track. Studies would definitely come 1st .
i feel like i am in those love shows where this couple...they are really meant for each other..then suddenly something happened..then they break up...then lost contact for a year..but they still like each other till the 7 heavens of the earth...then after that 1 year later they bump into each other and feelings just come overflowing again. they go on a date..and poof! start kissing again and happy ending . the end.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
happy Founder's Day!
happy founder's day to all Scouts and guides in the world !
still thinking of yesterday's hike man. oh god , patrick's such a good childcarer. while ying jie and i just stood 1 side all the time. haha. the kids were like bullying the both of us la.lol.
had Ventures cum Rovers BBQ last night. got it was a great , small gathering . i am sure the guys who turned up had a great time interacting with the rovers. we talked , talked and talked. army lifee seems to be filled with ghost stories la . haha. and melissa's a sick ass ! soggy biscuit !
after the BBQ i sent jia hui home cause it was damn late. went to find the guys again and wanted to drink, but all of us were tired la. so didn't and we went home.
i love gatherings like this. whee .
still thinking of yesterday's hike man. oh god , patrick's such a good childcarer. while ying jie and i just stood 1 side all the time. haha. the kids were like bullying the both of us la.lol.
had Ventures cum Rovers BBQ last night. got it was a great , small gathering . i am sure the guys who turned up had a great time interacting with the rovers. we talked , talked and talked. army lifee seems to be filled with ghost stories la . haha. and melissa's a sick ass ! soggy biscuit !
after the BBQ i sent jia hui home cause it was damn late. went to find the guys again and wanted to drink, but all of us were tired la. so didn't and we went home.
i love gatherings like this. whee .
Griffin cum West Coast Eagles Cub Scouts Hike
Today was a real fun and meaningful day !
We Griffin Ventures organised a cadet Scouts hike together with West Coast Eagles Scouts hike. well actually seriously speaking , much of the organisation work was done by teng yu and the girls la. haha. Griffin is just a unit made up with slackers.lol.
so ...met Anson at CCK today morning at around 7.10 like that .lol well , heng he called me to wake me up if not i GG la. then we made our way down to BB MRT and met the rest.
the hike was splitted up to 4 groups , and we just hiked around BB park lah. we were splitted to like 1 Griffin 1 West coast ventures. Teng yu and his scheming plan ar...
Well what can i say..man really it has been a long time since i did a MEANINGFUL CIP ( unlike the lame newspaper collecting with AJ) like this. during the hike , the cadet Scouts in my group were TOTALLY hyper active. there were 7 of them in our group ...and they were running around like mad all of the time...climbing round the playgrounds...running in all directions and totally trying to bully us the fascilitators.lol.
but nevertheless , it was meaningful and worthwhile when i saw their satisfied , tired faces at the end of the hike. Actually , 1 thing about this hike really reminds me of myself. After Mrs Margaret Anderson stated that she has been the Scouting arena for 43 years , i realised that i also quite "lao jiao" already. i have already been in the Scouting arena for 10 years already ! haha. that's a really long time actually . lol. more than half my life .
i remember the purpose of joining the Scouting life. last time in Pri School , i was already that type of like...outdoor person..i love nature..i love to go out in the great outdoors and camp..hike..and do adventurous stuff. i totally am in love with the smell of the morning dew , the adventurous spirit instiled in me , and the values and moral guidelines the Scouting life provided.
i can never forget the Scouting days i had in Secondary school , and the memories that came along with it. I really am in great gratitude for this establised youth organisation for what it has given me.
It was allowed me to be in the great outdoors...going for overseas camp..having cultural exchange with Scouts from all over the world! Thailand Jamboree was really the best camp i have ever went! activities such as overnight hikes, camps , far sea snookering , climbing up tegloh blangah hills at midnights , backwoods man cooking..pioneering..bowling com..soccer com..lan game com..campfires..NDP! and really really much much more la.the list is never ending.
their tiredness in their faces was apparent. but we all had fun and it was all worth it !
We Griffin Ventures organised a cadet Scouts hike together with West Coast Eagles Scouts hike. well actually seriously speaking , much of the organisation work was done by teng yu and the girls la. haha. Griffin is just a unit made up with slackers.lol.
so ...met Anson at CCK today morning at around 7.10 like that .lol well , heng he called me to wake me up if not i GG la. then we made our way down to BB MRT and met the rest.
the hike was splitted up to 4 groups , and we just hiked around BB park lah. we were splitted to like 1 Griffin 1 West coast ventures. Teng yu and his scheming plan ar...
Well what can i say..man really it has been a long time since i did a MEANINGFUL CIP ( unlike the lame newspaper collecting with AJ) like this. during the hike , the cadet Scouts in my group were TOTALLY hyper active. there were 7 of them in our group ...and they were running around like mad all of the time...climbing round the playgrounds...running in all directions and totally trying to bully us the fascilitators.lol.
but nevertheless , it was meaningful and worthwhile when i saw their satisfied , tired faces at the end of the hike. Actually , 1 thing about this hike really reminds me of myself. After Mrs Margaret Anderson stated that she has been the Scouting arena for 43 years , i realised that i also quite "lao jiao" already. i have already been in the Scouting arena for 10 years already ! haha. that's a really long time actually . lol. more than half my life .
i remember the purpose of joining the Scouting life. last time in Pri School , i was already that type of like...outdoor person..i love nature..i love to go out in the great outdoors and camp..hike..and do adventurous stuff. i totally am in love with the smell of the morning dew , the adventurous spirit instiled in me , and the values and moral guidelines the Scouting life provided.
i can never forget the Scouting days i had in Secondary school , and the memories that came along with it. I really am in great gratitude for this establised youth organisation for what it has given me.
It was allowed me to be in the great outdoors...going for overseas camp..having cultural exchange with Scouts from all over the world! Thailand Jamboree was really the best camp i have ever went! activities such as overnight hikes, camps , far sea snookering , climbing up tegloh blangah hills at midnights , backwoods man cooking..pioneering..bowling com..soccer com..lan game com..campfires..NDP! and really really much much more la.the list is never ending.
their tiredness in their faces was apparent. but we all had fun and it was all worth it !
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thunder
Today is a winding road it's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried
(I tried)
I tried to read between the lines
(I tried to look in your eyes)
I want a simple explanation
(For what I'm feeling inside)
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out
CHORUS:
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know
(I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)
And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out
CHORUS:
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think I'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain
Today is a winding road, it's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa
CHORUS:
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your voice (this is getting colder)
Was the soundtrack of my summer (and the summer's over)
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain (well today's a winding road)
Oh baby bring (today I'm on my own)
On the pain
And listen to the thunder
Hi all , suddenly feel like blogging again. No wonder they say this year those born under the year of the goat won't be having good relationships.Love Casualties:Me , Sam , Shawn...Jason...
it's been quite sometime la. haha. actually i didn't shut down this blog , cause i couldn't let go of something.i only changed the URL without telling anyone...so all the previous post are still left intact la.
Oh well...what can i say...this few months have been a real emotional roller coaster ride for me.yes yes , many of you , my best friends know that i totally went bongkus. i really became...kuku..but i have grown from it..learn from it..and emerge from it stronger , and wiser.
well , today i had a seminar held by my school about BGR...and it...well..for the 1st time in my life..AJC actually organised something which was pretty useful for me...i left the auditiorium thinking alot....the speaker left me wondering: "what's love?"
This is the 1st time in my whole entire life i actually asked myself that. for many of you who knows me , in the past sec 1-2..i was like..a total bastard tackling on such issues...i had short flings...not really flings la..like always have connections with girls..it was only in sec 3 that i gave my heart away for the very 1st time. or did i?
there was this particular segment during the talk, talking abt EQ. it shows a chart......telling what kindda of people are there in the world. well , basically there was the self-awareness , and the social awareness type. it hit me at point of time it was like she, and i. she was the self-aware type...likes to solve problems by herself...more of the quiet type..and well...everything the speaker said about this type of person totally resembles her i swear. and there was the polar opposite ...the social aware type.....who choses to make feeling and problems known to everyone and everywhere.louder people. it was me alright..
so which type of person was the better type of person in a relationship? i used to think me , of course.
this was the very mindset which destroyed my relationship with her , even after we broke up. if i had realised this alittle earlier , who knows we might have a higher chance of being "salvaged"
I used to think that all things between a couple should be trashed out..problems should be solvesd...solutions should be forced out... but however i realised that..it dosen't work this way...by doing so , i have neglected all types of human sensitivities around me...not everyone can be that open...
so , is it best to be the Mr Sensitive , the Self awareness type?
The speaker however , pointed out that a balance is needed....the 2 types of people should learn from each other.
Being selfaware is good..the type of people who knows themselves better than anyone else.they analyse,solve and manage problems on their own very well.
but sometimes , 2 heads are better than 1 . problems must surface for it to be solve , at some point of time.
so , i realised and felt that..well...maybe we have lots to learn from each other ..but it's too late now.zzz.
well i have found out alot of my own feelings through this seminar..as in..i started to actually think la. i asked myself " what's love, really?"
then well you know..all that thought that this is not true love..blah blah blah set in...
actually i realise my take about this whole entire issue is like the song Thunder. really. i am like this guy...at the crossroads of love or something..lol...not that i am emoing or wad la..just that i suddenly like...well...not like me anymore...not that girl-crazy-weiwen anymore.i still feel that there's something there , but just well..sometimes you just dunno what are you holding on to anymore.i start questioning myself if i still should continuing liking her..blah blah...the usual questions..or should i just give up.i have emerged stronger , to able to cope with such things and get on with life.
sometimes really , this tingling effect in us is so gao wei..i know i still do like this girl.
but i realise i should't think too much la. i am gonna lose my essence...the main vital trait about me..which is in this case also social-awareness...which is to follow my feelings for her and never doubt them. i am more of a "feeler" rather than a "thinker" at times.
ok la i know this post...might not make total sense..well , cause this is just a fraction of what i think la. damn hard to type all out.so abit random too.
the main thing is i must say.well...strong feelings are so hard to die off, even after quite some time.it's like , you dun see that person , dun talk to that person , dun go movies...kbox..sentosa anymore...but you still feel somehow..emotionally attached to that person, even IF that person dosen't feel so anymore.
thunder is such a great song. it has been ringing in my head this few days. her voice was really the soundtrack of my ...well...life la. i haven't hear her voice in like...forever already..but i swear i could just imagine the voice in my head...lol.i know it sounds crazy , but yeah i am not la. lol.
and dun let me get on with her eyes. it really glitters , with many many colours!
haha. ok i think i going psycho mode again.lol.i know i sound desparate la , i am not ok guys. i was pretty afraid of posting this post.later she thinks i crazy scare her off.lol
I am gonna get my thunder back.
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried
(I tried)
I tried to read between the lines
(I tried to look in your eyes)
I want a simple explanation
(For what I'm feeling inside)
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out
CHORUS:
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know
(I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)
And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out
CHORUS:
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think I'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain
Today is a winding road, it's taken me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa
CHORUS:
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your voice (this is getting colder)
Was the soundtrack of my summer (and the summer's over)
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain (well today's a winding road)
Oh baby bring (today I'm on my own)
On the pain
And listen to the thunder
Hi all , suddenly feel like blogging again. No wonder they say this year those born under the year of the goat won't be having good relationships.Love Casualties:Me , Sam , Shawn...Jason...
it's been quite sometime la. haha. actually i didn't shut down this blog , cause i couldn't let go of something.i only changed the URL without telling anyone...so all the previous post are still left intact la.
Oh well...what can i say...this few months have been a real emotional roller coaster ride for me.yes yes , many of you , my best friends know that i totally went bongkus. i really became...kuku..but i have grown from it..learn from it..and emerge from it stronger , and wiser.
well , today i had a seminar held by my school about BGR...and it...well..for the 1st time in my life..AJC actually organised something which was pretty useful for me...i left the auditiorium thinking alot....the speaker left me wondering: "what's love?"
This is the 1st time in my whole entire life i actually asked myself that. for many of you who knows me , in the past sec 1-2..i was like..a total bastard tackling on such issues...i had short flings...not really flings la..like always have connections with girls..it was only in sec 3 that i gave my heart away for the very 1st time. or did i?
there was this particular segment during the talk, talking abt EQ. it shows a chart......telling what kindda of people are there in the world. well , basically there was the self-awareness , and the social awareness type. it hit me at point of time it was like she, and i. she was the self-aware type...likes to solve problems by herself...more of the quiet type..and well...everything the speaker said about this type of person totally resembles her i swear. and there was the polar opposite ...the social aware type.....who choses to make feeling and problems known to everyone and everywhere.louder people. it was me alright..
so which type of person was the better type of person in a relationship? i used to think me , of course.
this was the very mindset which destroyed my relationship with her , even after we broke up. if i had realised this alittle earlier , who knows we might have a higher chance of being "salvaged"
I used to think that all things between a couple should be trashed out..problems should be solvesd...solutions should be forced out... but however i realised that..it dosen't work this way...by doing so , i have neglected all types of human sensitivities around me...not everyone can be that open...
so , is it best to be the Mr Sensitive , the Self awareness type?
The speaker however , pointed out that a balance is needed....the 2 types of people should learn from each other.
Being selfaware is good..the type of people who knows themselves better than anyone else.they analyse,solve and manage problems on their own very well.
but sometimes , 2 heads are better than 1 . problems must surface for it to be solve , at some point of time.
so , i realised and felt that..well...maybe we have lots to learn from each other ..but it's too late now.zzz.
well i have found out alot of my own feelings through this seminar..as in..i started to actually think la. i asked myself " what's love, really?"
then well you know..all that thought that this is not true love..blah blah blah set in...
actually i realise my take about this whole entire issue is like the song Thunder. really. i am like this guy...at the crossroads of love or something..lol...not that i am emoing or wad la..just that i suddenly like...well...not like me anymore...not that girl-crazy-weiwen anymore.i still feel that there's something there , but just well..sometimes you just dunno what are you holding on to anymore.i start questioning myself if i still should continuing liking her..blah blah...the usual questions..or should i just give up.i have emerged stronger , to able to cope with such things and get on with life.
sometimes really , this tingling effect in us is so gao wei..i know i still do like this girl.
but i realise i should't think too much la. i am gonna lose my essence...the main vital trait about me..which is in this case also social-awareness...which is to follow my feelings for her and never doubt them. i am more of a "feeler" rather than a "thinker" at times.
ok la i know this post...might not make total sense..well , cause this is just a fraction of what i think la. damn hard to type all out.so abit random too.
the main thing is i must say.well...strong feelings are so hard to die off, even after quite some time.it's like , you dun see that person , dun talk to that person , dun go movies...kbox..sentosa anymore...but you still feel somehow..emotionally attached to that person, even IF that person dosen't feel so anymore.
thunder is such a great song. it has been ringing in my head this few days. her voice was really the soundtrack of my ...well...life la. i haven't hear her voice in like...forever already..but i swear i could just imagine the voice in my head...lol.i know it sounds crazy , but yeah i am not la. lol.
and dun let me get on with her eyes. it really glitters , with many many colours!
haha. ok i think i going psycho mode again.lol.i know i sound desparate la , i am not ok guys. i was pretty afraid of posting this post.later she thinks i crazy scare her off.lol
I am gonna get my thunder back.
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